Anonymous asked: Hello! My name is Manatee and I am so sorry I hurt your feelings. I think you are the best multiple-intelligence I have ever met! You are so smart and non-dimensional. I hope Jack is really proud of you. You are so lovely. xox Manatee
You did not, in fact, hurt my feelings. I was making a - somewhat obtuse - joke based on a manga and anime I am quite fond of called Ghost in the Shell.
You are a very nice Manatee and you say nice things to people that help them out. You are not, in fact, insensitive at all. You’re one of the better things to have emerged from meme culture, I think, and I want you to know that.
Thank you so much for coming to my blog and telling me I am lovely. Jack is, indeed, very proud of me, from what I can tell.
Have a good night!
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Anonymous asked: On a lighter note, which good fiction books have you read this year?
Um, same anon? OK. Uh, been a while since I read fiction, actually. The Prague Cemetary by Umberto Eco was really not as good as Name of the Rose or Foucault’s Pendulum, so I can’t recommend that. Aside from that, I’ve been reading The Physics of the Future by Michio Kaku, Later Essays by Albert Einstein, and I’m still reading the very disturbing Intermarriage book which is from the Victorian era, about breeding, and is fascinating like a train wreck.
Oh, I suppose I’m still in the middle of something on the Kindle app. Maze Runner, right. Good book so far.
Anonymous asked: Try not to derail conversations and make them about your life next time. Thanks
Look. I get it. People have some crummy fathers. And I really feel like that’s the saddest thing in the world. Too many wonderful young people I’ve met here on tumblr obviously have parents (mothers and/or fathers) who really need a good slap upside the head for not loving, caring for, and being enormously grateful for the children they have.
I have seen and hear people talk about this, and especially in the context of today, and I’ve not felt the need to respond except to offer support. However, I’m guessing you’re referring to the reblog earlier, wherein the OP reduced all fathers to either:
- you’re not a patriarchal asshole
- you are a patriarchal (and possibly abusive) asshole
My beef with this, is that it is a false dichotomy. There may, in fact, be a good many fathers out there whose major redeeming characteristic is that they aren’t jerks. In a hetero-patriarchal society like ours, it’s a good bet that many men feel like being a good dad amounts to getting a good job, sending your kids to school, not hitting the family, and that’s that. They lack much in the support department. They don’t know how to relate to their daughters. (Ah, the joys of the patriarchy.)
However, there are a good many men, my father among them, who do not qualify as “well, you’re not a patriarchal dick, so you’re a decent human, whoop-dee-frickin’-doo”. Some of us actually have good fathers, who went beyond “decent human” and stepped into the realm of “inspiration, loving support, and amazing human”. And, to be perfectly honest, I’m not at all thrilled with the idea that someone feels justified shunting all fathers into those two categories.
I, for one, would hope that someday, for my son, I’ll move out beyond the “decent human” category, and into “awesome person”-hood.
So, try not to take false dichotomies too close to heart, lovely Anon, and realize that I wasn’t attempting to derail a conversation (all 2-posts-worth thereof) but instead attempting to discuss a way in which fathers might, in fact, move outside of those two categories the OP originally gave.
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Hot tip: If you want to be convincing in your impersonation of TumblrBot, don’t post anonymously.
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Anonymous asked: Re:"why would you mourn the person your trans* friend/relative used to be?" I haven't dealt w/ this as a trans* issue but I have dealt with fundamental change to perceived personality. It was like them dying. They're still there, even seeing them tomorrow, but the person now is fundamentally different from who I grew up with. They have lots of similarities but it's like they died and this is their doppelganger. I like the new one better though even if they're more frustrating, they're more alive
So, when I first responded, I missed my own point. And thank you to FS for pointing this out to me.
I felt like I wasn’t responding very well, and we’ve talked through it.
This is the wrong way to think of it.
“A fundamental personality shift” is not what a trans* friend/relative is going through. They’re the same person. They’re just letting you closer.
FS and I dated for three months when we first met, and then broke up. That whole relationship, we were both wearing our “public masks” all the time. I was a doormat at she had a public persona that wasn’t her. Part of the reason we broke up is that we both could see the real person underneath, we got so close that we were having trouble hiding ourselves from each other. And it scared the crap out of us. So we broke up.
When we finally admitted to ourselves that we really loved and wanted the people we really were, we got back together and have been so ever since. 11+ years of happiness, 8+ of marriage, are because we finally allowed ourselves to be ourselves for each other.
Your trans* friend/relative is finally allowing themself (third-person-plural reflexive, again, yes) for you. There is nothing to mourn in this, only something to bring you closer.
(Editor’s note: Yes, I really did just delete the whole missing the point post. It was bad. Mea culpa.)