Famous Physicists at a Party.
One day, all of the world’s famous physicists decided to get together for a party (ok, there were some non-physicists too who crashed the party). Fortunately, the doorman was a grad student, and able to observe some of the guests…
- Everyone gravitated toward Newton, but he just kept moving around at a constant velocity and showed no reaction.
- Einstein thought it was a relatively good time.
- Coulomb got a real charge out of the whole thing.
- Cauchy, being the mathematician, still managed to integrate well with everyone.
- Thompson enjoyed the plum pudding.
- Pauli came late, but was mostly excluded from things, so he split.
- Pascal was under too much pressure to enjoy himself.
- Ohm spent most of the time resisting Ampere’s opinions on current events.
- Hamilton went to the buffet tables exactly once.
- Volta thought the social had a lot of potential.
- Hilbert was pretty spaced out for most of it.
- Heisenberg may or may not have been there.
- Feynman got from the door to the buffet table by taking every possible path
- The Curies were there and just glowed the whole time.
- van der Waals forced himeself to mingle.
- Wien radiated a colourful personality.
- Millikan dropped his Italian oil dressing.
- de Broglie mostly just stood in the corner and waved.
- Hollerith liked the hole idea.
- Stefan and Boltzman got into some hot debates.
- Everyone was attracted to Tesla’s magnetic personality.
- Compton was a little scatter-brained at times.
- Bohr ate too much and got atomic ache.
- Watt turned out to be a powerful speaker.
- Hertz went back to the buffet table several times a minute.
- Faraday had quite a capacity for food.
- Oppenheimer got bombed.
- The microwave started radiating in the background when Penzias and Wilson showed up.
- After one bite Chandrasekhar reached his limit.
- Gamow left the party early with a big bang while Hoyle stayed late in a steady state.
- For Schrodinger this was more a wave function rather than a social function.
- Skorucak wanted to put everybody on his web site.
- Erdos was sad no epsilons were invited.
- Born thought the probability of enjoying himself was pretty high.
- Instead of coming through the front door Josephson tunnelled through.
- Groucho refused to attend any party that would invite him in the first place.
- NiccolÃ² Tartaglia kept stammering throughout the evening.
- Pauling wanted to bond with everyone.
- Keynes was keen to question the marginal utility of this party.
- Shakespeare could not decide whether to be or not to be at the party.
- John Forbes Nash wanted to play a n-person zero sum game.
- Pavlov brought his dog; which promptly chased after Schrodinger’s cat.
- Zeno of Elea came with two friends - Achilles and the tortoise.
- Bill Gates came to install windows.
- Bertrand Russell kept wondering if the cook only cooks for the guests, who cooks for the cook?
- Witten bought a present all tied up with superstrings.
- The food was beautifully laid out by Mendeleyev on the periodic table.
- Riemann hypothesised about who would arrive next; to which Newton retorted, ’ hypotheses non fingo.’
- Chadwick was handing out neutrons free of charge.
- Everyone was amazed at Bell’s inequality.
- Watson and Crick danced the Double Helix.
- While Fermat sang, ‘Save the Last Theorem for me.’
- Maxwell’s demon argued with Dawkin’s friend, the selfish Gene.
- Russell and Whitehead insisted on checking the bill for completeness and consistency. Godel said it was incomplete and it can never be proved otherwise.
- Epimenides the Cretan announced that only non-Cretans spoke the truth.
- Rontgen saw through everybody.
- Descartes cogitated, ‘I think I am drunk. Therefore I am at the party.’
Holy. Shit. This is too damn funny!
Barry Switzer, former football coach for college and professional teams, giving what I think is a marvelous definition of privilege.
I thought of this quote while watching Rick Perry dodge questions about the wealth inequality between white and black families within the U.S. Perry talked about working hard being the key to success, then blamed Mexican immigrants implicitly for Texas’ last place in high school graduation rates. He repeatedly praised himself for working hard as a kid and going to college. Essentially, he’s a gentleman ‘D’ student claiming he did it all himself.